I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
