wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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