Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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