Barsexuality is the new black.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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