Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
