i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
