why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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