hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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