Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
