He is an equal opportunity slut.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
