Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
