Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
two words...techno handjob
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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