I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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