just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
