How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
