I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
