he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
