I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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