ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
