I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
