Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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