I'm going to jail i love you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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