Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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