He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
