Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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