'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize