She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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