Jerry, you need to find god
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
there is puke in my bra ... again
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize