East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he puts the penis in happiness.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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