very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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