I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
