Having a random hookup so left but love u
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
