That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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