i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
