Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
