Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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