i barfeds in our rink
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize