We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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