There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
