Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
