Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
