Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize