you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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