This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
