I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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