id be glad to
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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