sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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