I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
