I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize