so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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