my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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