what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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