M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
