im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
